case file · /04 · birthdays
The birthday roast they'll never live down.
A custom funny birthday song with their name in it. Their age, their habits, their running jokes, all set to a beat. You bring the dirt, the AI ghostwriter writes the bars.
hits harder than any card.
from $2.99 · no subscription · tracks never expire
Hear how it sounds.
- sample · /01
Older, Not Wiser
drill
for a mate turning 30
2:32dropping soon - sample · /02
Cake Day Reckoning
pop punk
little sister's 21st
3:15dropping soon - sample · /03
Forty & Fragile
trap
dad's 40th, from the kids
2:23dropping soon
real samples pressing now. yours could drop first.
Three steps. Zero talent needed.
- 01
Drop the name
and the age they're pretending not to turn.
- 02
Spill the dirt
running jokes, worst habits, the story from that one party. the more specific, the funnier.
- 03
Send the track
a full song with cover art, a share link and synced karaoke lyrics. play it at the party or drop it in the chat.
How to write a birthday roast that lands.
A generic funny birthday song has someone else's jokes in it. A birthday roast song has theirs. The difference is receipts: the nickname only the group chat uses, the hill they always die on, the thing they did at the wedding that nobody's allowed to mention. Feed those in and the track stops being a novelty and starts being evidence.
The rule that makes a birthday roast work: go at what they do, not what they are. Their punctuality, their parking, their five-year plan that's been five years for a decade. That's the stuff people laugh at about themselves. You're roasting the legend, not the person, and the birthday is the one day a year they're contractually obliged to take it.
Timing matters less than you'd think. A personalized birthday song takes minutes to make, so it works as the last-minute save at 11pm the night before, or as the centerpiece you premiere when the cake comes out. Either way it outlives the party: the share page keeps the cover art, the audio and the karaoke lyrics rolling together, so the roast gets replayed every year like a bad tradition.
Asked before the booth.
case file · /04 · birthdays · faq
- 01
What makes this better than a generic funny birthday song?
Generic songs rhyme 'birthday' with 'great day'. This one rhymes with their name, their age and the story from the stag do. Every line is generated from what you tell Shade, your ghostwriter, and you can rework any verse until it sounds like it was written by someone who knows them. Because it was.
- 02
How fast can I get the track?
Minutes. Type the name, feed in the dirt, and a full 2 to 3 minute song comes back with cover art and a share page. It's the strongest last-minute birthday gift on the internet.
- 03
Can I play it at the party?
That's the point. You get the full MP3 download to blast on any speaker, plus a share page with synced karaoke lyrics so the whole room can join in on the chorus.
- 04
What does a birthday roast song cost?
From $2.99, no subscription. You keep the song forever, so the cost per replay hits zero somewhere around their next birthday.
Got other beef?
- The Other Halfin love, armed with receipts.hear it →, funny personalized songs for boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses
- The Bachelor(ette)last drinks before lockdown.hear it →, bachelor party, bachelorette, stag do and hen do roast songs for the groom or bride
- The Leaving Dosend them off harder than HR.hear it →, funny farewell and leaving songs for coworkers and retirements
Your turn
in the booth.
from $2.99 · no subscription · tracks never expire
hits harder than any card.