case file · /03 · leaving dos
The send-off HR can't approve.
A funny leaving gift for a coworker: a custom farewell song with their name, their catchphrases and nine years of meeting crimes. Works for leaving dos, retirement parties and the good ones who got away.
the card gets signed. this gets kept.
from $2.99 · no subscription · tracks never expire
Hear how it sounds.
- sample · /02
Gone Before the Standup
drill
the dev's last sprint
2:49dropping soon - sample · /03
35 Years, One Mug
soul
retirement do for the legend
3:35dropping soon
real samples pressing now. yours could drop first.
Three steps. Zero talent needed.
- 01
Name the leaver
job title optional. reputation mandatory.
- 02
Collect the legend
catchphrases, the printer incident, the reply-all of 2023. the whole team contributes.
- 03
Play it at the do
after the speeches, before the second round. then send them the link to keep.
Better than a whip-round and a supermarket cake.
Every office runs the same leaving ceremony: a card with forty 'good luck!' signatures, a collection envelope, a cake from the big supermarket. Fine. Forgettable. A funny leaving song for a coworker does what the card can't: it proves the team was actually paying attention for the last nine years, and it gives the do a moment people talk about at the next one.
Office roasts have their own physics. You're not roasting the person, you're roasting the work persona: the calendar Tetris, the 'quick question' that never was, the sacred lunch order, the way they typed 'as per my last email' like a threat. That's the material everyone in the room recognizes and nobody gets hurt by, which is exactly the register a leaving do needs.
It works just as well as a funny retirement gift, where the material is deeper: thirty-five years, one mug, four office moves and a filing system nobody else ever understood. Collect stories from the whole team, feed them in, and play the track after the speeches. Then send the leaver the share page. The card goes in a drawer. The song goes in the group chat every time someone says their catchphrase.
Asked before the booth.
case file · /03 · leaving dos · faq
- 01
Is this safe for a work event?
You control every line before anyone hears it. Aim at the work persona, the habits and the folklore, not anything personal, and iterate with Shade until it's clever rather than cruel. If the room would sign the card, the room will laugh at the song.
- 02
Does it work as a retirement gift?
It might be the best version. Retirement dos come with decades of material and an audience that knows all of it. A custom retirement song with their name and their legend beats a carriage clock in every measurable way.
- 03
Can the whole team contribute?
Yes, and it should. One person runs the session, the team files stories and catchphrases in the chat, and the best ones become verses. The result sounds like the whole office wrote it. Because it did.
- 04
The do is on Friday. Am I too late?
No. A full 2 to 3 minute track with cover art takes minutes to make, so even the day of the do is enough time. From $2.99, which the collection envelope can absolutely cover.
Got other beef?
Your turn
in the booth.
from $2.99 · no subscription · tracks never expire
the card gets signed. this gets kept.