case file · /06 · couples
Roast the one you love.
A personalized funny song for your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. Their name, your inside jokes, every habit you've survived since the first date. The anniversary gift flowers can't compete with.
nobody has more receipts than you.
from $2.99 · no subscription · tracks never expire
Hear how it sounds.
- sample · /01
Snore Symphony No. 12
R&B slow jam
for a husband of 12 years
4:05dropping soon - sample · /03
Five More Minutes
afrobeats
girlfriend who's never ready
2:34dropping soon
real samples pressing now. yours could drop first.
Three steps. Zero talent needed.
- 01
Drop their name
the pet name works too. maybe better.
- 02
Bring the evidence
the snoring, the thermostat, the way they say 'I'm listening' while scrolling.
- 03
Gift the track
share link, cover art, karaoke lyrics for the duet. dinner reservation optional.
The anniversary gift that actually gets replayed.
There's a whole industry of personalized song gifts for couples, and almost all of it is sentimental. Which is lovely, once. But if you've been together long enough to have a shared Netflix profile and a standing argument about the dishwasher, you have something better than sentiment: material. A funny song for your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife is the gift that proves you've actually been paying attention.
The craft is in the ratio. A great couple roast is ninety percent habits you secretly find endearing and ten percent chorus that admits it. Shade, the ghostwriter, will happily write you a savage verse about the snoring and then flip the last hook soft, so the track lands as a love letter wearing a disguise. Ask for it harder or sweeter until the balance is yours.
It works for anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's Day and the anti-Valentine's counterprogramming, or for no reason on a Tuesday, which is arguably the most romantic option. And unlike flowers, the share page doesn't wilt: cover art, full audio and synced lyrics, kept forever, replayed every time one of you needs to win an argument.
Asked before the booth.
case file · /06 · couples · faq
- 01
Is a roast song a good anniversary gift?
For the right couple it's the best one. Sentimental gifts say 'I love you'. A roast song says 'I love you, I know exactly who you are, and I have evidence'. If your relationship runs on banter, this is the gift that sounds like the relationship.
- 02
Can I make it sweet at the end?
Yes. Tell Shade to keep the verses savage and turn the final chorus soft. You iterate on the lyrics line by line until the mix of roast and romance is exactly right.
- 03
How personal can I get?
As personal as your receipts. The best couple roasts stick to the habits and the inside jokes, the stuff you'd tease them about to their face. Roast what you love them for, not what you fight about.
- 04
How long does it take to make?
Minutes from name to full track, so it works even if the anniversary is today and you have, historically, forgotten. A 2 to 3 minute song with cover art, a share page and a download you both keep forever.
Got other beef?
- Birthday Roasthits harder than any card.hear it →, custom funny birthday roast songs
- The Group Chatsomeone's always the main character.hear it →, roast songs for best friends and the group chat's main character
- The Bachelor(ette)last drinks before lockdown.hear it →, bachelor party, bachelorette, stag do and hen do roast songs for the groom or bride
Your turn
in the booth.
from $2.99 · no subscription · tracks never expire
nobody has more receipts than you.